I wonder if you’re like my friend? Assuming her computer was safe…
Any Google searches were coming up innocent, in fact her computer looked very children friendly.
We started to think like kids and we typed in “sex”
– all good.
We started to think like children of the tech generation and we typed in “sex.com”
The images that appeared – in full colour, full close up, full movement – were very explicit pornography.
A “safe” computer was now showing its true self.
We didn’t panic (well we did a little bit – it was actually quite traumatising!)
The whole reason we were checking the computer was because I was sharing with her HOW to make her computer safe*.
We had a solution up our sleeve!
How I took steps to block porn on our family computers
After researching widely I am happy to share these two easy steps.
Did you know the government funded a special server to protect the Australian public from disturbing content?
Its called OPEN DNS.
They did have a press release : read more here
Two easy steps that made my computer porn safe
Step 1 : Turn on the Open DNS
Set up the OPEN DNS on your computer and ensure that NO porn sites will play. No matter what is typed into the address bar.
HOW DO I DO THIS ?
Instructions are below at these links:
(It may feel daunting at first, but it is such a relief when it is done)
For Mac users, follow this simple video.
For Windows users, follow this simple video.
(If the instructions above do not suit your computer set up, there are instructions for all circumstances at this website)
Step 2 : Lock searches
Go to this address.
Turn on “safe search” and “lock safe search”.
(now if you search for “porn” you will get a big list of information about why porn is bad, instead of a list of porn sites)
I hope you enjoy the same relaxed feeling I got after I did these two steps.
Most of all, as an experienced counsellor and mother who reads many books and articles of these tpics! I’d remind parents to consider being careful not to accidentally shame your kids.
Unfortunately shame can feed behaviours.
It’s natural for kids to be curious and to be sexually excited as they move into puberty.
It’s natural for children of any sex, to find visual images stimulating. And perhaps even more so for the male brain structures (as a generalisation, of course all kids vary).
I want to have open lines of communication with my son, I want to be able to point out to him, that images might be sexually exciting in the moment – and that is normal. However I also want him to know that it is also important to be aware of the acting, the fakeness, the falsity, the addiction and the violence within the pornography field.
I want to discuss healthy love making with him, I want him to be consciously aware that porn is not love making, far from it.
I hope as time passes and he develops his thinking that he can see the vast difference between porn and the richness of emotional and spiritual well being that you can feel with a real person?
In the long run I know he will want the emotionally satisfying experiences, but he might need time to mature first!!!
All the best,
GradDipC, GradDipPsyc, GradDipEd, Bsc (hons), CCE, CH
HBEC Creator and Manager,
* The use of the word ‘safe’ is a not completely accurate, as nothing is ever foolproof. Always check in with your kids and watch with them. One ideal recommendation is to have the computer set up in a family room at all times.
It is also good for stress reduction in kids to ensure they have no screens in their bedrooms. It is recommended that bedrooms are for sleeping.
Some families have everyone place their screens in a box at 7 pm every night. This can be particularly helpful if kids have social pressures and cyber bullying risks late at night. It can give them a reason to switch off.